|Your Mama's So Ugly|
·she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she was hit with the ugly log! |
·kids dress up as her for Halloween!
·she makes blind children cry!
·you could stick her face in dough and it would make monster cookies!
·I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."!
·if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it!
·people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen!
·people hang her picture in their basements to scare the rats away!
·she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning!
·her shadow ran away from her!
·I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application!
·I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check!
·people at the circus pay money not to see her!
·she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork!
·that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
·that she went to an ugly contest and they said "sorry no professionals"!
·just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."!
·her face is closed on weekends!
·her dentist treats her by mail-order!
·she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back!
·the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
·when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks!
·when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her!
·that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team!
·when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes!
·they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty!
·she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking!
·she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks!
·she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"!
·she hurts my feelings!
·she gets 7 years bad luck when ever trying to look at herself in the mirror!
·Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
·even the elephant man paid to see her!
·even the tide won't come back in!
·that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair!
·your dad takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye!
·when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows!
·they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks!
·she has to trick or treat over the phone!
·she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares!
·my dog took one look at her and ran away!
·her pillow cries at night!
·she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."!
·that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot!
·you're dad first met her at the pound!
·when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents!
·she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her!
·if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away!
·it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym!
·they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints!
·when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains!
·when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras!
·she has to creep up on water to get a drink!
·her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her!
·they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars!
·they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
·she practices birth control by leaving the lights on!
·we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation!
·the psychiatrist makes her lie face down!
·Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant!
·her face is like a peice of modern art you can't tell what it is!
·Medusa is jealous!
·her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel!
·she could scare the moss off a rock!!
·she has to creep up on her makeup!
·it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries!
·when she was born the doctor smacked everyone!
·when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming!